cheating

Not too much has changed here lately, not too much going on to write about, so I'll bore you with another meme that seems to be making the rounds.

I didn't make it up, if you want to do it, consider yourself tagged.

What were you doing 10 years ago?


Ten years ago, today was 5 days before Warren's 4th birthday. I was busy plannin a party and trying to get that set up. I had moved into a new place after living in the YWCA for a couple weeks, my father had passed away the previous December and I was contemplating going back to school. Man was that a lifetime ago.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

Going to work, spending time with Warren, fighting with Warren, trying to stretch a nickel into a dime, not a whole lot different from what I am doing right now, except Warren was at home and not getting into nearly so much trouble.

Five snacks you enjoy:



1. blue corn tortilla chips with salsa

2. pita chips and hummus

3. baby carrots and baba ghannousj
and tomato

4.Rye crisps with peanut butter and all fruit {or jelly}

5. Soy delicous "milk" shakes {soy delicous, fruit and soymilk, a little orange juice if needed to make it thinner, blend till drinkable}

Five songs that you know all the lyrics:
1. comfortably Numb {and most of the songs on both The Wall and Dark Side of the Moon - if you are new here I am a big Pink Floyd fan

2. Pinball Wizard by the Who {Elton Sings it in Tommy, but the Who do it better

3. Bus Stop {I think that's the name, not sure who sings it, "I'm hers she's mine, wedding bells are gonna chime"
4. Theme songs of all most all the shows I watched as a kid in the 70's and 80's{hey it counts}
5. Scads of Ann Murray {would have to say ditto on this Cosmic}, I'm extremely eclectic

Five

1. Pay off everybody I owe money to, and clean up my sucky ass credit

2. Give my mom a proper thank you for all she has done for us

3. Put my son in a private facility so I didn't have to deal with the f*** state of North Dakota

4. Buy a nice new house in a much nicer part of town {though this one is pretty nice}

5. Set up a trust fund, so my brother {and son} will always be taken care of should something happen to me, and that if I died before Warren was 18, my idiot ex wouldn't be able to touch a dime.

Five bad habits:


1. talking to much, not letting others talk.

2. obsessing about things, and then loosing interest

3. ignoring things, with the mistaken idea that they will somehow magically go away.

4. a tendancy towards know-it-all ism

5. yelling when ever I am mad, or excited or any other extreme emotion, apparently I have a voice that carries extraordinarily well, or so I've been told.

Five things you like doing:

1. reading, almost anything

2. blogging/reading blogs, cruising the net

3. watching movies

4. working out

5. learning new things

Five things you would never wear again:


1. Nylons, tights, any kind of hosery. It should be outlawed by the Geneva convention

2. heels of any kind, other than on a hiking boot, or work boot

3. skirts some may love them, but I can't stand them, which is weird because when I was younger I loved them, especially the twirly ones}

4. cotton pull on stretch fat pants {the one's I didn't give away I burned in effegy{br>
5. anything, flowery, lacey, loud, or ice cream colored.

Five favorite toys:

1. My computer.
2. My dvd player
3. My car
4. My phone
5. My I"m sure I'll think of something

I've taken variations of this many times and I always get the same thing, so it must be pretty close to the truth.

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards. You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings. At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak

What's Your Personality Type?

If they say so;

What Your Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich Means

Your eating style is reserved. You are a bit of a fussy eater, and you have very specific ways you like your food prepared. You don't really have a sweet tooth. If you go for dessert, you tend to go for something light. Your taste in food tends to be quite eclectic and wide. You are an adventurous eater, and you like many types of cuisines. You belong to a class that's all your own. You resist rules and traditions of any sort. You are a tough person who isn't afraid to live life fully. There isn't a lot that scares you. You are laid back and extremely easygoing. You never make a fuss, and you try to enjoy every moment.

What Does Your Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Say About You?

Considering some of the changes in geography since I was in 8th grade, I'm impressed.

You Passed 8th Grade Geography

Congratulations, you got 7/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Geography?

I'll let the last one stand on its own:

Your Ex is Histrionic

Your ex is hot and cold - a total drama queen or king. Your ex can't survive without tons of dramatics, attention, and approval. People with histrionic personality disorder are inappropriately seductive, prone to rapid mood swings, and rash decision makers. Sound at all familiar?

What's Wrong With Your Ex?

one more;


DUH

Your Stress Level is: 61%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now. Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out. Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times.

How Stressed Are You?

I'm addictive and trippy {I always thought I was more exestential than surreal but that's okay. My fav artist it Edvard Munch so go figure}

You Are Surrealism

Dreamy and idealistic, you've created a world that is all your own. It's very likely that you've either dabbled in drugs or are naturally trippy. You are always trying to push beyond the boundaries of your culture and society. You believe that art, love, and freedom can change the world.

What Art Movement Are You?

Rain rain please please go away, and don't come back for many many days. We have so much now, that the wheat and beet fields will soon resemble rice paddys.

It poured buckets again today, and by that I mean more than the streets could handle so my normal 15 or so minute drive home took more like 45 freaking minutes as I couldnt' take the short most direct route I normally take, at least not until I outfit my Honda with pontoons and and outboard, or trade her in for something with an Evenrude. I wound up taking a path that was way long around what I normally take and still had to drive thru water half way up to my hubcaps. I wound up turning around at two different places as I wasn't about to take a chance with this car going thru water of questionable depth. I worked too hard for this baby, not going to flood her out, or worse.

if that wasn't enough, when I finally go to the last stop light near my house, I had to sit thru three lights as the city is too stupid to realize this intersection needs arrows during the peak traffic hours {like say 5:45 pm during a monsoon}, I won't even talk about the Semi that was trying to make way to narrow a turn and almost took out me and three other cars, were we not able to move, so he just wound up making some interseting marks on somebody's lawn {the boulevard part next to the street}. I know my blood pressure was ready to do a tea kettle imitation.

On the brightside I know my windshield wipers work very well, too bad they don't have one more speed on them, like say maybe a warp drive.

I did love having to run the defroster when it was about 350 degrees and 250 percent humidity though, so my windows didnt' look like I was having the kind of fun usually reserved for teenagers at a drive in.

good thing Fargo didn't take down the dike yet. I have a feeling they may just want to leave it up for awhile.

There is someting really wrong when Florida and eastern states are having dry years and we are being washed away by midwestern monsoons.

Who needs the gym. If I want to do water aerobics I just go swim across the street.

That's only a slight exaggeration.

Whine and cheeze

I hate scales. I really would like to throw them all in a pile and torch the whole things with a few mega tons of dynamite. My pants are fitting better, I am getting a little stronger and more flexible, but the bloody freaking /-/-/*-- numbers on the scale refuse to freaking budge. I have been at this same weight for almost a month now. I really want to blow something up {I am so not like most girls}.

My goal was to be at 150 by Warren's birthday. That is on the 20th only 8 days from now. I have long since realized I won't make that. I know I've come along way from the 298 I started at {312 at my heaviest} and a lot of people would be thrilled to be at 173, but I was hoping I could at least be in the 160's which while not goal some how seems so much smaller than the 170's. {its a psych thing I know}. i feel stupid for not being happier about where I am at, yet in between realizing how good I do look and how far I've come I have to fight off the urge to starve myself or do some other stupid unhealthy thing. Part of me wants to say F** it and go eat some muffins, but my rational brain is still in control and knows that's what got me in to trouble in the first place and my body deserves better. I'm just so many things right now, I dont' even know waht I am. I should be happy, but all I see is buffalo thighs, a flat watermelon butt, and a bunch of hanging skin on my legs and upper arms.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and think damn?? is that me??. Other times I still see the old fat me. I guess I'm still adjusting to the new me, sometimes I'm not even sure I know the new me.


Enough whining for now. Time for some good news. {well goodnews/badnews}. Warren gets to have passes now. I got to spend two and half hours with him outside in the real world. He can have three passes a week. I also talked to DJS, and she and I and the respected involved legal members of this whole fiasco also agree with me, its the treatment places that can't see what we see. YOu would think he robbed a liquor store and shot somebody or something, not a few petty misdemeanors.

But I feel a little better and it was nice to have some time with my son, and the soft fuzzy caterpillar that seems to be growing on his lip. It was all I could do not to pluck a random long hair on his chin, sticking out from all the fuzz.

We went out to eat. Uno's is closed so we went to Krolls {local diner/with some great German specialities}. Warren ate like he hadn't been fed in a month. I had a chef salad hold the meat and cheese, which left me with iceburg lettuce and tomato in some sort of herby shell thing. I ate half of it {no dressing} and asome of Warren's hashbrowns. I only had water to drink, so I think I did okay. But I went light the rest of the night. I'm sort of hungry and sort of not. I think I'll just skip eating anymore until tommorrow. I can work it off in the pool. I'll just work double time {who am I trying to kid}

My baby boy will be 14 in only 8 days. I feel so old now. I may have to retell his birth story. Its not as interesting and wild as some, but its definately all us. I have the day off. Hopefully we might be able to get more than a couple hours.